Black and white people dating site
When I read a recent essay by Michael Arceneaux, his words hit me hard.He questioned why Black men in particular want so desperately to be acknowledged as desirable by white men who have no interest in dating outside their race.My understanding of relationships is developing, as is my knowledge of race, but I’m still unpacking how my sexuality really relates to my Blackness.As I continue on this road to self-discovery and acceptance, I often think about my gay uncles who died, and I wish they could have been a part of this journey.I’m quickly approaching my 25th birthday and have come to the realization that I’ve never been in a long-term relationship. That's not uncommon among millennials, but as a Black gay man, I've begun to wonder how my race has affected my chances of finding love.I like to think of myself as someone who’s adventurous when it comes to love and sex, someone who’d never rule out potential partners or new experiences.Statements like "no fats or fems" or "no Blacks or Asians" litter profiles in hookup communities on Grindr, Jack'd, and similar platforms.Thankfully, marginalized queer communities have started to call out those hurtful comments as acts of discrimination rather than statements of preference.
Even in person, when I’m trying to muster up the courage to talk to a cute guy, I first wonder if he’s "into black guys." I hate myself for even having to contemplate these things, and I’m now left asking myself: And the more I think about it, the more complicated the answer seems. The only gay people I saw in the media were white, and the few Black queer celebrities that I knew of, like Wanda Sykes and Michael Sam, were in interracial relationships.Could we all be perpetuating internalized racism by consciously, or even unconsciously, excluding Black men and other men of color as romantic prospects?And in doing that, are we only reinforcing the politics of desire that deem Black people less attractive?But when I discussed my issue with friends, other queer men of color, they all said I have a type: white men.I tried to deny it, but when I thought about my dating history, I realized that my friends were right.